It has been scientifically proven that, no matter where you live or where you go to uni, these seven types of housemate will be represented. In every hall, flat and student house, the residents can be reduced to these derogatory stereotypes. No, really.

'Ha!' You scoff as you start reading this list. 'Not my housemates, my housemates are fucking legen-  hold up, where's my cheese?'

The Slob

There's always one. That one housemate who just loves a good old fashioned wallow. Maybe their mum was always cleaning up after them at home, maybe they just love living in squalor. Like a force of nature, they rip through the house leaving a trail of dirty dishes, mouldy food, and hot, stinky garbage. You want to kick their door down and give them an earful but you can't, because there's a mountain of crusty trash on the other side, holding firm. Truly one of the worst types of housemate.

The Raider

The housemate who uses everyone else’s things instead of their own. It’s either because they didn’t bring stuff with them or maybe they just can’t be bothered to wash up any of their own things. Not as annoying as the slob but definitely more selfish. They never buy the milk either. Assholes.

The Late Bloomer

A shit housemate for all the right reasons. The housemate you were too quick to judge. You moved in and thought you were never going to get along, but by the end of the year they’re the one housemate you actually want to keep in touch with. It’s too bad you didn’t get along earlier, because now they've gone and secured a house with a bunch of sick people for next year, and you're stuck with these mugs. Never judge a book by it's cover, kids.

The Let-Down

The housemate you got on with in first term and thought you were going to be so close with. You soon realise that you don’t actually like them very much, but you're stuck with them as a housemate. What’s even worse is that you’ve already organised to share a house next year too, so unless you want to lose that massive deposit, you’ve got no options but to pretend to get along with them for another 12 months. Congratulations, ya played yaself.

The Shut-In

The housemate that you barely see because they’re hiding in their room the entire day. Who knows what goes on in there. Netflix, online gaming, relentless masturbation, lurid human sacrifice. You'll never find out.

The Jetsetter

The other housemate you barely see, but this time it’s because they spend 70% of their time at home or on holiday, rather than at university. They’re loaded with parent-money, meaning when the dishes start to pile up they can hop in the car and escape your grotty hellhole. "See you in a fortnight", they smirk, "I'm off to Berlin", leaving you to watch Breaking Bad on your ones as you listen to your housemate quietly tugging himself off through the wall.

The Infant

The housemate who has never had to cook anything in their life. These are the sheltered bunch. They may well be lovely people, but one day, six months into the year, they're going to ask you how to fry an egg and you're going to have re-evaluate the people that you associate with. A fried egg, seriously?

Unless you’re the lucky 1% who loves their entire flat, you’ve probably encountered situations like these and wished you could trade-in your housemates on multiple occasions, but unfortunately housemates are non-refundable. Expect to come across many of these useless skidmarks in your first year, but remember - the diamonds that you find in the rough make it all worthwhile.