31 Oct 2019
Your guide to the drunken costume-wearing masses of Halloween 2019
Halloween, a student nightife staple and one of the first big nights out after freshers week. From first to third-years, hordes of students descend upon local clubs dressed in varying degrees of Halloween enthusiasm and litres of fake blood.
From the over-the-top try hards to the Buzz Killingtons, we've compiled a "comprehensive" list of everyone you'll bump into on the spookiest sesh of the year.
A classic. The student Halloween starter pack. It's the perfect last-minute cocktail of FOMO, a non-existent budget, and a massive lack of enthusiasm. They'll be knocking on flatmates' doors looking for some dregs of fake blood and a pair of scissors to slice up their least favourite white t-shirt moments before the taxi pulls up.
Student loans were made for this.
They're papier-mâché-ing all over your shitty costume and you know it, but you'll be the one laughing when they stack it outside Yates and those hours of glue-gunning and painting are obliterated all over the pavement.
Hours of Youtube tutorials, buckets of liquid latex and fake blood, they'll turn up 3 hours late to pre-drinks looking like they were actually hit by a car on the way. This horror movie extra will probably spend most of their night being asked if they need someone to call an ambulance.
You'll see this corpse re-animated sometime around their third vodka Redbull.
They feel like Spiderman in their shiny neon green suit of anonymity as they saunter toward the local Pryzm, can of Dark Fruit in hand - everyone else thinks they look like a twat.
"Yeah mate, you know the paperclip from Microsoft Word '98..."
Dressed head to toe in a massive lack of self-awareness, you'll see them every year. The Hitlers, The Jimmy Savilles, they lie in wait all year round until they can parade around making up for their lack of inventiveness with the most offensive thing they could think of.
They'll claim they forgot the date, or that dressing up for Halloween is for children. Or maybe they just went out dressed as a MASSIVE BUZZKILL.