So you've made it to uni, said your goodbyes to the squad and and been waved off by your poor oblivious parents; first on the agenda - a big fucking night out. Sounds easy enough, right? But in a new place it's easy to turn what could be an incredible night out into a disaster if you don't know what you're doing. You end up talking a big game then falling flat on your face infront of your cool new flatmates.

Well, native has your back. We've put together this foolproof guide on how to smash a night out in Pompey so you can hit the ground running...

Choosing an event

Whether you’re into techno, indie, hip hop or want to catch a sweet live band; our events guide gives you a comprehensive overview of the upcoming events in Portsmouth and beyond.

It's an invaluable tool for anyone who considers themself a nightlife aficionadoo - get up to speed with what's going on in your city, you can even compare ticket prices to make sure you're getting the best deal. So get stuck in. 

If you're planning an all-day sesh before an event, learn how to smash day drinking with our ultimate guide.

Pre-drinks

The staple of every student night, pre-drinks are an essential ritual that can either make or break an alcohol-fuelled adventure. During first year we’re gonna bet you’ll be spending your pre-drinking period in one of the myriad of student halls in Portsmouth. Failing that you might end up in the front room of a terraced 5-bedroom house that can barely fit the people who actually live there.

Drinking games are a core component of every student's pre-drink arsenal, so learn a few! And when Ring of Fire inevitably starts to lose its appeal after the fifth round, you can pass off some of our obscure drinking games as your own.

Sharing is caring, and a great way to make new friends, so we recommend a bottle of the finest (read: cheapest) spirit you can find and plenty of disposable shot glasses, because no great friendship ever began over two pint-cans of Stella. Lidl is great for cheap drinks and the uni bus stops right outside.

Sharing is also what’s going to stop you peaking too early, so take heed, because waking up to a Snapchat story of yourself face-down in The Astoria toilets with a vomit moustache is not the one.

Getting Around

Portsmouth is an extremely tightly packed city, everything is well within walking distance - we give it 30 minutes tops between even the furthest student hotspots and that’s making time for the guaranteed slow walkers or too-drunk-to-movers.

Avoid the Uber trap, it's a lesson quickly learned by every Pompey student. Yes, we’ve all been there - it’s almost too easy to press a couple of buttons and have an 8-seater pull up a couple of minutes later, but it’s a quick way to blow through your student loan. Nobody wants to be eating bowls of ketchup for lunch by week four because they're flat broke.

Turn the walk into a bonding experience instead, seize the opportunity to talk to the cute guy/girl you didn't introduce yourself to yet. It’s also a great excuse for another drink on the way, so fill up that bottle of Jack with the remaining mixer and hoof it to the club.

If you're out early enough, then the uni bus is also a solid choice and it's completely free. It runs between Langstone Student Village and the Uni Library but stops right by Guildhall walk which is where you're going to be headed at least 70% of the time, especially during Freshers Week.

Clubs

Guildhall Walk, the Mecca of Portsmouth nightlife. Need we say more? No, but we’re going to anyway. Wall-to-wall clubs and bars, takeaways and over-zealous promoters hurling their sales patter at every group of students that pass by - the perfect place to get flat-out wasted, stumble out at 2am and then dive face-first into a Ken's Chicken Burger.

The heavy hitters here are The Astoria, Mr. Miyagi's and Fleet/Popworld; Spoons gets an honourable mention too, if only because their all day breakfasts are a god-tier hangover cure.

You can usually grab an obscene amount of discount vouchers from the Freshers Fair, easing the strain on your already weary bank account, that will last for the first few weeks of the year.

Outside of Guildhall, Gunwharf Quays is home to Tiger Tiger - another student hub. It’s a little further out but that doesn’t put anyone off. Just get down early unless you’re prepared to queue for an hour or two in stilettos and a strapless dress during the middle of winter.

If clubbing isn’t your thing, or it's time to mix things up, then Albert Road provides some respite from the endless roster of club nights and pop/r&b tunes. It's much more chilled, full of quirky bars and deluxe food outlets.

The One-Eyed Dog is a sweet little dive bar (can we say that?) on the corner of Albert Road, spinning everything from psych-rock to hip-hop classics, it’s also a premium spot to meet a Tinder date - bonus points for all the adjoining roads that facilitate a quick escape in case you've been catfished. It can be a little pricey compared to other spots though; luckily you can download their app or grab a loyalty card that opens up a world of drink deals. 

With so much to do, things can get a little overwhelming in your first couple of weeks, so we’ve broken the best events down day-by-day to give make life a little easier:

Monday: Delight Alt-Night @ The Astoria

Delight is a Portsmouth institution; running without fail every Monday night since 1999. Even if you're not a rock/metal fan it's a rite of passage to attend Delight at least once during your uni career.

Tuesday: Dirty Disco @ The Astoria

An absolutely huge tuesday night! Dirty Disco is the only way to blow off mid-week steam - banging tunes, stilt walkers, fire breathers and the (in)famous Dirty Disco Girls. It's pretty much guaranteed you'll make a new best mate in the smoking garden every single week.

Be warned: you WILL miss your Wednesday 9am, but hey, that's part of the experience.

Wednesday: Purple Wednesdays

The official UoP student night! The word of the night is Snakebite, the official drink of UoP students for as long as history has been written.

Starting at the Union bar, which will undoubtedly be full of sports society socials, the night then moves across to Fleet/Popworld. We're not sure why it was a good idea to place the biggest night of the student week on a Wednesday either, but it's a great excuse to miss yet another 9am lecture. 

Thursday: Connection @ Zanzi

Home of Pompey's own living legend, DJ Pete Scathe and touted as the longest running club night in the city. Connection has had multiple homes, fond memories of which you may hear told by nostalgic third years and past students who are struggling to let go.

Now the night has moved right into the heart of the action every Thursday at Zanzi; expect classic indie, britpop and modern rock tunes but nothing too heavy. 

Friday: The Eskimo Project @ Astoria

Eskimo11 is the biggest student club brand in Portsmouth and this is their flagship night. Arrive early lest you be left queueing out in the cold for an obscene amount of time. Playing all the current hip-hop/pop/r'n'b tunes, this one isn't so much about the music but a gathering of the student population to celebrate the weekend like some kind of weekly pagan ritual. 

Saturday: Hip-Hop Night @ The One Eyed Dog

Saturdays at the Dog are a hidden gem of the city, not a hugely advertised night but definitely one that is on every established Pompey student's radar. It's intimate, sweaty and packed full of enough quotable 90s/00s hip hop to make you pull out the gun fingers and jump around until closing time.

3 a.m. Food Stop

So veterans of UoP might scoff, but Ken's Fried Chicken is the place for a messy post-night pig out. They don't claim to be Michelin star chefs, and neither should you expect as much, but it hits the spot better than anything else on offer and it's an authentic taste of Portsmouth (say what you will about that). Forget the stories you've been told, they'll all disappear after a single heavenly bite of a Ken's chicken burger and you'll be on a one-way journey to flavourtown. Their shop on Guildhall Walk is also home to some of the best drama after all the clubs close, from lovers' tiffs to full-on brawls; have your fries and shake at hand, sit back and watch the fireworks!

You can definitely have too much of a good thing though. Some alternatives are the Ultimate Taste burger van outside the Uni Library that is just as fulfilling as Ken's but lacks the seating area - perfect if you're in a rush to get home. Otherwise, Fawcett Road is the place to be for greasy drunk food, from Caribbean to Kebabs, it's like the Sunset Blvd of heart attack-inducing goodness.

Getting Home Safely

The Uni bus stops fairly early, so there's no chance you're getting home for free unless you walk. It's hard to picture what kind of fresh hell a late night Uni bus would be anyway, full of drunk dickheads singing 90s pop classics. 

Portsmouth isn't a particularly scary place at night for the most part, but you should always head home with a friend if you do decide to walk. Some areas to avoid at night are Somerstown and Fratton, they have higher crime rates than the rest of Portsmouth. 

If you do decide to get a cab, Uber is the cheapest bet and they're tracked too for an added layer of safety. Local taxi firm Aquacars also has a trackable app but unless Uber decides to piss on your parade with surge fares then Aqua are more than likely going to be more expensive.