The Ultimate Guide To Day Drinking

Features

Danny Hines

19 Jun 2018

Contrary to popular belief, day drinking is an art form that requires skill and careful planning.

Day drinking is a quintessential part of British culture. The first sign of sunshine and masses flock to the nearest sun-trap with a ragtag band of mates to guzzle down a few jars of that sweet amber nectar. But be warned, going in balls-to-the-wall is a rookie move, so we've put our heads together and created a fool-proof plan for maximising the potential of your day out on the lash.

Get out a pen and paper, put on your reading glasses and take note - this is Native's ultimate guide to day drinking.

Here it is, the fabled day has arrived. You throw the covers off yourself and hop straight in the shower, mind focused solely on the adventures ahead.

But don’t be so quick to dive into your day drinking session unprepared. There are a few steps you should take to fully equip yourself for the day ahead, trust us, you’ll be grateful you listened.

Step 1 - Energy storage

Eat some fruit before you head out. The slow release, feel-good energy of a banana could give that extra push you need to make it through the sesh. Avoid anything substantial at this point, you’ll find out why soon!

Step 2 - Idiot-proof your phone

Drunk texting is a definite possibility after a long day of drinking, so set a complex unlock pattern or pin code. The motive is twofold: the extra time spent trying to get past that pesky lock screen might help you think twice about messaging the girl/guy you met at the gym last week, then once you’re beyond the point of coherent thought your dexterity and memory will hopefully have taken enough of a hit that the phone will become completely inaccessible beyond emergency calls. Remember to make a note of the passcode somewhere!

It’s also a good idea to store your phone in a zip pocket, handbag or even attach it to yourself with that Student Union lanyard you never use.

If you, like us, simply can’t be trusted with such a powerful artefact then leave your phone at home and pray you don’t lose the herd throughout the day.

Step 3 - Multi-climate attire

Remember, you’ll be out through the day, well into the evening and potentially even through the night so prepare for all eventualities. English weather is notoriously unpredictable; a light, airy base outfit is essential for warm weather while a jacket or coat under your arm can protect from a potential disaster.


Remember when we told you not to eat anything substantial? Hopefully you listened because your first stop should be a hearty breakfast with the crew. Lining your stomach is essential, if you believe it helps - and we do.

In fact, it's scientifically proven that eating before drinking alcohol will reduce the rate at which your body absorbs the booze, meaning your intake will be staggered over the course of a longer period. That sounds to us like more value for your money!

We recommend the unbeatable classic, a full english breakfast. Spoons will forever be the king of cheap all day breakfasts. Wash it down with pint or two of their finest lager, there's no reason not to start tanking up at this point. No whiskey on the rocks just yet though, remember it's a marathon not a sprint. Bonus points if it's the hair of the dog from yesterday's session.

For vegetarians and vegans, carb-heavy alternatives such as pancakes or waffles are a worthy replacement.

You should also consider staying put for a few minutes after breakfast because it’s time for a...

You don't need to go printing itineraries for everybody, but having some structure to a day that will likely leave you in a fragile and frivolous state is probably a good idea before someone ends up halfway across the English Channel in a shopping trolley.

Although you might be a fan of spontaneity, and we are too, a rough plan can help you reconvene with the squad in case anyone temporarily breaks off at any point. It also reduces the chances of a drunken squabble later down the line where nobody can agree where to go next.

We suggest delegating one spot to each of your party, that way everybody gets to be involved in the planning stage. It should also guarantee a nice variety of drinking spots to keep things interesting.

Read the entire guide here before you start planning the route, trust us, we have a degree in day drinking.

So sync watches, agree on a safe word and march onwards to the next step!

Now that you’ve got your route figured out, it’s time to hit the next spot on your journey into the drunken abyss. By now, during the summer at least, the sun should be out in full effect and ready to cheer you on in your alcohol-fuelled endeavours.

Since you're day drinking, not night drinking (duh!), it would be downright shameful not to embrace the outdoors. Beer gardens are a Great British tradition, soaking up the rays and sipping on the good stuff should be a human right. 

Still avoiding the hard stuff, we recommend something fruity for now, a cocktail or Strongbow Dark Fruit should do the trick. Pitchers are a great way to save money and the social aspect of sharing your drink can help to keep the conversation flowing.

Maybe the best part about drinking outside is another national pastime, people watching. Sat in your garden chair throne, peering down at the regular folk who live an unprivilaged life of sober daytimes and joyless errands. Creating names and backstories adds a whole new dimension - watch on as Susan from Peterborough stocks up on pastries from Lidl even though you KNOW she's gluten intolerant. Do you have a death wish Susan?

And if the weather isn’t so great then you should still have that jacket under your arm, alternatively you can sit by a window to simulate the outdoor experience in full HD.

So we did tell you to plan a route, we know, but we also said we were advocates for spontaneity! A quick detour to that new place your mate has been raving on about recently shouldn’t throw too much of a spanner in the works.

You might meet the man/woman of your dreams, find a new favourite watering hole or end up deep in conversation over the finer details of flat earth theory with Crazy Dave from the homeless shelter.

Dive bars are full of the most interesting characters in your city, if stories about multiple divorces, estranged children and biker gangs are your idea of interesting - and after a solid few hours of drinking, they probably are.

Nothing says dive like a couple rounds of pool on a wonky table, with a pint precariously placed slightly over the corner pocket in blatant defiance of the "no drinks on the table" sign. Around about now, everybody's hand-eye co-ordination should be beginning to wain so it's anyone's game - drinks on the winner! A great time to stitch up your rich mate who just received another financial care package from his parents, who are currently holidaying in the Cayman Islands.

At this stage, a round of shots should be on the cards. Don’t go overboard though, you want to up the ante without cutting your night short. It’s a good idea to choose somewhere that serves food, nachos or sharing platters are the food of choice for this point in the day. You can save the big one for that post-sesh kebab later on.

We’re not trying to be your parents, but we’re also not trying to give you liver failure at age 30. Staying hydrated will keep you going longer and to be honest, a pint of water is probably going to feel amazing going down after a solid few hours of drinking alcohol.

By this point you may be pretty faded but if you managed to follow all of our steps so far, including staying hydrated and keeping up your food intake, then we reckon you can make it through.

Depending on the stamina of your cohorts, this could potentially be the last stop on your tour so pick somewhere fancy!

The fancy bar is an essential stop for any day drinking session, helping to keep you grounded by surrounding yourself with a crowd that should be reasonably sober and switching the theme up from standard boozers or dive bars. Variety is the spice of life!

If it does happen to be your last stop, then you can switch up your drink of choice to something a little bit stronger here (tequila, anyone?), just make sure you have a taxi on speed dial.

So we’ve hit a fork in the road. It’s time to choose your own adventure, just like those books you read in primary school.

The sensible among you will appreciate the quality time spent with your friends so far, recognise the quantity of alcohol you’ve consumed has been pretty substantial and call it a night. You can make your way home, stop off for that kebab, drink a glass of water and fall gracefully into bed ready to face the next day with minimal grief.

Realistically though, we imagine a good chunk of you nutters are ready to bust some shapes on the dancefloor for a few hours. To minimise your chances of winding up face-down in a box of chips on the roadside, we recommend another water break and snack before heading to the club.

Shots are definitely not on the agenda here, beers and ciders should be your go-to after a long day of drinking. But this isn’t a guide on night drinking - you’re on your own from here.

Good luck, adventurer!