The 2018 world cup in Russia is here. Sunburnt England fans, crushing disappointment, brutal digs by the British tabloid media, despite a confusingly good showing in their first two games, don't worry, everything you would expect from England at a world cup is just over the horizon. 

With 32 nations competing for the coveted crown of the best darn footballing team in the world, we at native have decided to award a different trophy. 32 countries, 32 holiday destinations, but which country is the ultimate experience for enjoying a euphoric weekend abroad with the boys? Find out below:

#32: SAUDI ARABIA

Now, of course, we all loved the first game of the world cup - Russia vs Saudi Arabia - the human rights derby, but beyond a tense clash of outdated ideals, we're not really sure what each country has to offer this competition. Plus, you're running the risk of 360 lashes every time you get the beers in.  Categorically not the one for a weekend with the boys.

#31: IRAN

Iran, whilst being a beautiful country, is in a similar predicament. Drinking alcohol is forbidden for Iranian citizens, and whilst you and the boys would be allowed to partake in the devil's nectar - you'd have to produce it yourself. They did gift us this incredible world cup moment though:

#30 ICELAND

Something of a niche weekend away, only for the most highbrow of boys. Iceland is a marvellous country, boasting exquisite volcanic sites and astonishing landscapes. However, a pint of lager will set you back 1100Kr, or an eye-watering £7.92. Double shifts at Topman required.

#29 SWEDEN

Home of football's biggest ego, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, and home of the world's third most expensive pint, Sweden is by all accounts a good holiday destination. However, the Swedes are notorious for their reserved and subdued personalities (Zlatan aside), so chances are they're not going to appreciate Gaz's legendary Kolo Touré chant at 3am.

#28 EGYPT

With Egypt crashing and burning out of the group stages, its viability as a holiday destination has been considerably diminished. Still, if you knock up some 'I Hate Sergio Ramos' tees for the boys you'll likely be welcomed with open arms.

#27 TUNISIA

We’re probably not welcome here for a while after Harry Kane's 91st minute winner. Skip this country!

#26 RUSSIA

Relations with Russia have been pretty shakey recently, to the point where if Phil Jones scuffs a shot past Russian keeper Igor Akinfeev this summer there's a very good chance that World War 3 will ignite right there in the Krestovsky Stadium. The Russians love a piss up, as we well know, but they're also hard as fucking nails, and if you're not careful you might end up separated from your favourite appendages in a bag in Siberia. Not top 20 material.

#25 SWITZERLAND

Home of expensive watches, expensive chocolate, and the world’s most expensive cities. It’s going to be an expensive one for the boys. Round of tap waters at dinner.

#24 PERU

Not a traditional spot for a weekend of debauchery. Whilst Peru boasts incredible natural wonders and ancient Incan cities, you might have a hard time persuading the boys to grab a guinea pig on a stick on the way home from the club…

#23 DENMARK

One of the most expensive countries in the world and it's not even that hot. Hard pass.

#22 NIGERIA

Gonna be honest here, we've got absolutely no idea how Nigeria would be for a lads' holiday. The internet is sending us mixed messages. What we do know is their world cup kit is absolute sauce:

Nigeria’s left back knocking out balloons 3 for £10 at a festival near you pic.twitter.com/YFVVLRVnvZ

— Jack Savage (@jacksavagee_) June 1, 2018

#21 SERBIA

After sacking off Montenegro a couple of world cups ago, Serbia has really come into its own as a footballing nation. As a holiday destination, we're still not convinced. The drinks are cheap but, judging by their football team, every man in Serbia looks like a John Wick villain so, unless one of your mates is Keanu Reeves, there are better places to spend your beer money.

#20 PANAMA

Come on, let's face it, even Panama are confused at how they qualified for this competition. 

#19 URUGUAY

An outside bet, but maybe a smart one. Flights will set you back but once you get there the cost of living (boozing) is low. Try the Uruguayan equivalent of a snakebite - 'El Pistolero'.

#18 MOROCCO

If it's good enough for Action Bronson, it's good enough for the lads. Morocco has become a fairly popular tourist location in the last few years, which has resulted in alcohol becoming more readily available and has opened up the country to a whole new audience - the boys. 

#17 COSTA RICA

Third lowest murder-rate in Central America and only £1.73 a pint? Get us on the plane.

#16 COLUMBIA

Probably not the boys’ first pick, given the government’s travel department advising against 'all but necessary travel' to most of the country… However, if you do decide on a weekend away to the cocaine capital of the world, there’s plenty of incredible destinations to discover, just don’t wear a Columbia jersey on the flight home

#15 SENEGAL

Home to a world-renowned Jazz festival, a colourful and liberal capital city and the birthplace of Akon. It’s not necessarily up there with your typical lads holidays; however, Senegal is quite possibly one of the most underrated holiday destinations out of all 32 world cup countries. A bit of culture for the boys, plus apparently the beer alone is worth the £2700 round trip. Nice. 

#14 JAPAN

Japan are absolutely flying in the group stages so far with an upset victory over last world cup's quarter-finalists, Columbia. It'll be a pricey one, but there's only a few times in life when you get the opportunity to swap a cold pint for a hot sake. Plus, seeing how many of the boys will fit in one of Japan's notorious capsule hotels will undoubtedly make for the Snapchat story of the weekend.

#13 BRAZIL

The adopted home of football after football's real parent country became abusive, negligent, and embarrassingly shit in tournaments, Brazil is a stunning country with good food, good beer, and the Rio Carnival. A solid choice.

#12 KOREAN REPUBLIC

Home to the world's most lovable footballer, Heung-Min Son, South Korea doesn't often come up when your bandying around countries on the group chat for the big weekend. But it should. A wonderful country steeped in history, great infrastructure, and a pint will cost you the equivalent of £2.04. 

#11 ARGENTINA

Much like Messi carries the national team, Argentina as a holiday destination rests squarely on the shoulders of their fucking incredible BBQ. Meat so good it can drag the country to number #11 in the tournament. Honestly. It's absolutely magisterial. 

#10 FRANCE

A safe bet and a short train journey away, France is a decent shout for a weekend, especially for those lads who are a little cautious to leave the nest. Knowing that you can be back in London in less than two hours and that you almost certainly won't encounter anyone that doesn't speak English is a big plus for the less well-travelled boys.

#9 ENGLAND

Good ol' Blighty. Home of the boys and the beautiful game. But is it really a weekend away with the boys if you stay in the country? Maybe. There's plenty of viable weekend destinations in England. Birmingham, Leeds, London, Brighton, Liverpool, Manchester are all top nightlife destinations, but you'll be missing that sweet sweet holiday sunburn, and when the money you're spending is in a currency you understand, every drink is tinged with that ever so slightly sour taste of remorse. Not ideal.  

#8 BELGIUM

One of the top disappointing footballing nations, along with Argentina and every England side since 1966, the country of Belgium is famous for its beer, which automatically makes it a top seed in the world cup of lads holidays. However, we know an upset is always on the cards and if you and the boys find yourself in Bruges for a weekend away you might end up wishing you'd taken a punt on Saudi Arabia.

#7 MEXICO 

A country fixated on football, the Mexican people caused a seismic quake after celebrating their emphatic win over Germany and the weather in summer is a routine 30 degrees Celsius. It's also the holiday destination of choice for tanked up U.S. college kids. We're not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. 

#6 SPAIN

Tried, tested and home to some of the world's ultimate lads holiday destination - Ibiza, Magaluf, Marbella, Barca - Spain, like in football, is a perennial contender for this coveted trophy. Plus, Jono the absolute legend reckons he'll be able to find somewhere to pick up a bit of herb for only 80 euro.

#5 POLAND

With soaring temperatures and a single pound buying you around 5 Polish Zloti or, in beer terms, nearly a full pint, Poland is a bargain bucket weekend away with the boys. 

#4 PORTUGAL

Home of the world's most arrogant man, Portugal's combination of weather, beer, and Iberian pork makes for an outstanding weekend destination. A level up travelling-wise from the Spanish strip holiday, but the road signs still look pretty much the same, so you won't feel too out of your depth. 

#3 AUSTRALIA

'Straya. England's cockier younger brother, especially when it comes to drinking. Hot as hell, so that Great British sunburn is guaranteed, plus, the entire country is basically on a lads' holiday every day, so no shortage of absolute legends to drink with. Premium weekend destination.

#2 GERMANY

Home of Oktoberfest: the official national holiday of the boys. Like in football, Germany is a weekend powerhouse - beer, bratwurst, Berghain - it's a country engineered with the lads in mind, and for that reason it comes in just shy of pole position.

#1 CROATIA

The most well-balanced outfit of the tournament, boasting cheap beers, beautiful landscapes, and world-class talents such as Dimensions and Outlook, Croatia rightfully claims the number one spot in the most important tournament of the summer. Our top tip: check out Lake Bled for when you and the boys want a moment of tranquillity between rounds of Ring of Fire.

***We have been informed by our glorious readership that Lake Bled is in Slovenia***



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